Shh let’s not say it,
it hurts but why express it.
its killing me and you,
but the roads were different for our blues.
let’s not think it too hard,
because its not approved until its an Archies’ card.
Shh lets wipe off those tears,
it doesn’t matter, those years.
that my shoulder was once your home,
but suddenly its an abandoned zone.
Was my love not enough?
or his or his or ruff?
Shh stop it already,
lest it be known to the wary,
that its as absurd to me as them,
that you left me in absolute mayhem,
without a message or a note,
you left me with a tragic anecdote.
– For Vijoy
Pain. Doesn’t it hurt. It actually is just pressure. I don’t think neurons go running to the brain screaming youch.
Pain is just a sensation that our bodies can’t take it anymore. What is this mental pain? Too much pressure on the mind? How do you deal with this sort of pain? I don’t know. Unlike physical pain you can’t even diagnose it to accuracy. Imagine a doctor coming in and telling you, you are suffering from the broken heart syndrome or lonelyvitis. You can’t even attribute a cause to it. You can just forget about having a remedy. Psychologists say having somebody to listen helps. But I am sorry 50$ an hour is not listening to me. Unfortunately listening is not a skill for a common milieu. Atleast not the milieu I have been amongst.
Tears have a job similar to blood. Cleansing. But unlike bleeding, crying does not form a protective scab over the wound. In fact it might open the gates for new vulnerabilities. Sometimes it let’s us be pushed around by someone we care, sometimes it makes us watch as the person we love falls out of love with us, just because we feel too weak to finish the war within to be able to control our environment.
People attribute emotional pain to people. Personally I feel it’s not the person, it’s the situation. It’s not that your best friend is insensitive, it’s your vulnerable condition inflamed by the insensitivity of that moment. Insensitivity in isolation is quite harmless. I don’t know whether letting go is a remedy or whether keeping on trying is. But I wish there were painkillers for the heart for the process in between just as much as I wish people never changed.