Painkillers for the Heart

Pain. Doesn’t it hurt. It actually is just pressure. I don’t think neurons go running to the brain screaming youch.
Pain is just a sensation that our bodies can’t take it anymore. What is this mental pain? Too much pressure on the mind? How do you deal with this sort of pain? I don’t know. Unlike physical pain you can’t even diagnose it to accuracy. Imagine a doctor coming in and telling you, you are suffering from the broken heart syndrome or lonelyvitis. You can’t even attribute a cause to it. You can just forget about having a remedy. Psychologists say having somebody to listen helps. But I am sorry 50$ an hour is not listening to me. Unfortunately listening is not a skill for a common milieu. Atleast not the milieu I have been amongst.
Tears have a job similar to blood.  Cleansing. But unlike bleeding, crying does not form a protective scab over the wound. In fact it might open the gates for new vulnerabilities. Sometimes it let’s us be pushed around by someone we care, sometimes it makes us watch as the person we love falls out of love with us, just because we feel too weak to finish the war within to be able to control our environment.
People attribute emotional pain to people. Personally I feel it’s not the person, it’s the situation. It’s not that your best friend is insensitive, it’s your vulnerable condition inflamed by the insensitivity of that moment. Insensitivity in isolation is quite harmless. I don’t know whether letting go is a remedy or whether keeping on trying is. But I wish there were painkillers for the heart for the process in between just as much as I wish people never changed.

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2 thoughts on “Painkillers for the Heart

  1. A very well-written reflection. Painkillers, however, only mask the symptoms making it more difficult to treat the cause. Personally, I’ve found talk therapy with gifted professionals quite helpful — and $50/hour for a good therapist is nothing compared to the $100/15 minutes I pay my psychiatrist for medication management my psycho-tropics, or “mental pain killers”.
    Something to consider.

    I pray you find relief.

    • Thank you for your comment. The rate I mentioned are average Indian rates. Although it is gaining in ambit, psychotherapy has still to develop in India. Talk therapy does help. But in interpersonal issues, it’s better to not involve a third party in the beginning. As to relief, I am glad that you too see it as subjective. Some find it at the bottom of their nth peg while others when they publish their blogpost.

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